It is one of the most bizarre cases of teacher/student relations to come out this year. A mother is arrested for having three-way sex with her son and female teacher.
The story was originally leaked on the boys facebook page. His status update read, “Just had a three-way with my mom and my 3rd period teacher. Booyah!” Though none of his peers saw this, his grandmother is his friend on facebook and reported it to the police. He had completely forgotten he had friended his grandmother and regrets that she reported it to the police. He later posted, “Don’t ever friend your grandmother. EVER!”
The mother has provided some insight as to how this relationship started. She had attended a parent/teacher conference and said it was clear there was some sexual chemistry between her and the teacher. In an attempt to explore this, the mother invited the teacher over for dinner under the guise of further discussing the development of her son.
The teacher has confessed that at that dinner the wine was flowing pretty heavily among all parties and that the Pizza Hut™ pasta was surprisingly good, just like the commercials state. The next thing she knew the clothes were off and they were all covered in alfredo sauce. She has been instructed by her attorney not to say any more.
The principal of the high school had this to say, “We have temporarily suspended the teacher pending further investigation. It is yet unclear what the teachers role was in having a three-way with the boy and his mother. Was she merely having sexual relations with the mother, while the son only participated with his mother as well or was it your standard run of the mill three-way in which all parties were getting it on with each other? Is it a violation of the teacher if the parent is consenting in the relationship? Any way you slice it the consensus around the teachers lounge is that it is really fucked up, but yet strangely kinda hot”.
The boy has not yet returned to school, but has leaped from being unpopular to the most popular boy in school. His classmates have gathered outside his house and he can occasionally be seen from the window giving them a “thumbs up”.
In interviewing the students outside the house we have been surprised to discover the overwhelming positive support for these actions. Some girls even say they are now interested in going out with the boy. When asked why, they say it is because he must be really experienced and are curious as to how good he is in the sack.
The mother has been charged with providing alcohol to a minor and sexual assault. She has been divorced from the boys father for only several months.
We contacted the father, but only let it ring once and it was not immediately returned. Although it was returned 15 seconds later, but it was too late at that point and honestly his response was rather boring.
Pizza Hut™ released a memo stating they were unaware that their pasta caused euphoric, sweet hot ass three-way sex, but have already begun working up a new ad campaign with the working title “Alfredo her while you Tuscani me”. They also added they in no way condone the mother and teachers actions and send their condolences to the boy.